took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
