Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
