You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
