Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my shit smells like andre
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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