I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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