grandma shit on top of the toilet
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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