this just has baby written all over it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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