Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
try to milk me bitch
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize