I wanna bring you to show and tell
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
