I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
