Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
