Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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