You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
