I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
