Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
