I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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