never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
