I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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