Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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