Christians are straight up FREAKS
thus making me awesome and them whores
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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