I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
