Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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