I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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