Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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