She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
