Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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