I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize