brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
In the future we'll all be gay
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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