They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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