How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
