just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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