I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I looked at my own cervix.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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