oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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