I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
