he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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