I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
