It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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