I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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