mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
