Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
