I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
