i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
