just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
