I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
