NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
