READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
