Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Watching her eat just hurts me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
