4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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