she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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