Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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