but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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