So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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