I can text with my tongue
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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