last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
