I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
