She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Everything about him screamed your future.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.