That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wat bout pragnant strippers??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."