Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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