ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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