"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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