I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
