I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
